You Are Not Alone

Someone out there needs to know:

You are not alone. The suffering that you do in silence – those pervasive, persistent thoughts that overwhelm you, and the pain you walk around in while appearing to be fine – it is not inconsequential. People care. I care. I care that you are suffering, and that you feel alone. Personally, I believe God cares as well, but I understand if you are in a space where that is irrelevant, unrelatable or unwanted. The truth still stands that you are not alone in this world.

You are not a mistake.

You were not born simply to suffer, and you do not “deserve” whatever is breaking your heart or keeping it broken. This is not as good as it gets.

You are not crazy.

You are not beyond hope, even if you feel you are without it. I get you. Hope is many things, “elusive” being one of the most difficult, but hope (or the lack of it) is not an indicator of your worth or your future. Not being able to see a way out of the dark does not mean there is no way out. It means you are in great darkness, and you need light.

Light will come. Light is already on the way. It comes differently to each individual, in different timing, but it will come. And when it comes, try your best not to push it away.

You are worth helping.

You are worth healing.

You are worth loving.

You are worth sitting in the dark with.

You have something to offer the world – including the gifts that emerge from your suffering and struggle – and your life has an impact, regardless of whether or not you can see it.

I know you feel like no one understands your specific hurts and fears, and no one responds the way you need when you try to reach out. Even if that’s true, it doesn’t mean you are alone or that you’re not worth helping or hearing. It means people are fallible.

Keep reaching out.

Don’t retreat.

Don’t isolate.

Don’t give up on people.

When people try to reach out or to respond, try to receive their love and compassion for you, even if – when –  they miss the target of your need by a country mile. Sometimes it’s not actually the right response you need, it’s a revelation that your need matters to another human being. See the people throwing you a rope, even if they miss. It’s not their aim that reflects your value, it’s their effort.

If you have someone you can ask, ask for that hug you need today. If you don’t, hug yourself. Be the person you need for yourself. Be gentle, kind, compassionate, and a good listener. No “should” or “shouldn’t” or scolding or judging. Give yourself the love you crave.

And tell someone you feel alone.

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